It was innocent enough. I clicked on ‘a video you might like’ and soon I was spiraling down the rabbit hole of golden buzzer moments on America’s Got Talent. At some point, a nine year old girl performed a moving rendition of Michael Bolton’s 1989 ‘How Am I Supposed to Live Without You’ and then I’m feeling sentimental and googling Michael Bolton and realizing he’s 67 years old . . . wtf?. . . and then the next video of the same little girl performing Whitney Houston’s ‘One Moment In Time’, released in 1988. And then I’m watching the video of Whitney performing that same song at the 1989 Grammy Awards. It featured footage from the 1988 summer Olympics with victorious, smiling, American champions receiving medals, and baseball players leaping into the air with joy . . . swimmers and boxers, and Flo-Jo spinning in her husband’s arms. And there’s Whitney in that iconic, form fitting, white dress; singing her heart out. From my 2020 perspective, knowing how things ended, I wonder what pain she was going through that night that nobody saw. . .and then I’m googling the date of Whitney’s death . . . and the death of her daughter . . . so much tragedy . . . and I'm reading all this to the background of the news on Covid and racism, and the economy, and the election. Right now, footage is playing of a Trump supporter caravan harassing a Biden bus on the highway while Trump cheers them on . . . and I’m thinking about the world I’ve brought 3 babies into and it all seems horrible and hopeless and for the first time since the start of Covid - 8 fucking months in - I’m finally crying - like really ugly crying. Crying for the loss of safety. Crying for the loss of kindness and dignity. Crying for the loss of pride in being an American. Crying for the loss of a president who can string together a sentence. Crying for the loss of Whitney Houston and the 230,000 we didn't need to lose. Tonight the music of the 80’s takes me back to a time when the worst thing that ever happened to me was the death of my father. I want so badly for that to be the worst thing ever, but I am terrified that we aren’t even close to the worst thing ever. One moment in time, America. This is it. Don't fuck it up.
1/8/22 Addendum: make that 800,000 we didn't need to lose.
3/11/23 Addendum: make that 1,115,637 we didn't need to lose.
'Give me one moment in time, when I'm racing with destiny.
Then in that one moment in time, I will feel - I will feel - eternity.'
